26/10/2026
Story time ...
About 15 or 16 years ago I was about to propose to my old girlfriend back in Ireland.
I had everything planned out, it was going to be perfect.
Just as I was about to start my preprepared speech, my roommate at the time Joseph, who I hadn't been living with for too long, burst into the living room where we were sitting.
He was drunk AF after being out all day.
He muttered something incomprehensible, tripped on the floor and went headfirst into the glass coffee table directly in front of us.
Now I didn't really know Joseph that well at the time but I obviously had to put my proposal plans on hold while we helped him through his injuries.
The main one being the poor dude got a huge shard of glass in his left eye when he went through the coffee table, making him completely blind in one eye.
He was walking around with one of those cotton pirate patches on for a few months while the surgery scars healed up.
Then he up & disappeared.
Just like that - gone.
With my girlfriend.
I didn't realise it, but apparently they bonded during the time after his injuries while she was helping/nursing him back to health.
They just simply up & left - full on eloped, never even left me a note.
Just gone.
I tried to track them down for the next year or so, but they were gone gone.
In conclusion, if it hadn't been for cotton eye Joe, I'd have been married a long time ago. Where did you come from? Where did you go? Where did you come from, cotton eye Joe?
Anyways, about 15 spots left - enter on the OG post to get fully brassed off: https://www.facebook.com/share/p/1DhbT5ChLZ/